School is starting up. It’s always an exciting time of year with new clothes, new schools and classes, and new friends. It’s also a break for mom. Come on, admit it! You can actually have a couple of hours to do something you want to do, finally. But, then come the after school activities and the chauffeuring. Okay, maybe the break isn’t really there, but new schedules are always exciting, at first.
Along with school come issues to “re-deal” with: Modesty in attire. Discipline. Friends and culture.
Modesty: We will have this problem forever, I’m afraid. But when you buy your children’s clothes, or when they begin buying their own clothes, you have got to go by the rules. The school has its standards, but each home should have their own (which I hope are a little tighter, and definitely enforced). When it comes to school dances—please talk to your girls and make sure you are on the same page. Don’t wait until weeks before the dance to start demanding something modest, or worst yet, let your daughter go off with her friends to buy the dress. This is a mother-daughter opportunity. Take it. Help your daughter be fearless in her high, moral standards.
Discipline: Higher education gets more and more competitive every year. Distractions get more and more attractive and pervasive every year. More and more mothers are going to work and not being there when the children return home. ‘Nuf said.
Friends and culture: When young groups get together, without adult supervision, you can pretty much expect the kids to act out. There is too much of the show-off, one-upmanship, and pressure that builds, and it will affect your child. Just pay attention. Don’t worry about being the “un-cool” parent. Parents are supposed to be un-cool, at least sometimes. Be proud of it and stand your ground. Your children will thank you some day.
Continuing along these lines, I would like to mention swearing. This is one of those areas that are really insidious. Are we, as parents, aware of how much swearing confronts our children at school (Elementary, and on up)? The halls are rife with profane yelling; sometimes said in anger, but mostly stated casually, but loudly, in conversation. And the teachers. I will never appreciate, or respect, a teacher who can’t control their tongue in a classroom setting. I don’t care how bad the kids are.
In Utah, swearing is very, very prevalent amongst LDS kids. In other parts of the world, I’m sure the kids realize their position and are a little more watchful. Being LDS, all of us know better. Mormons try to skirt around by making up “non-swear” words. That’s were “flip”, “gosh darn”, and the like come from. Nowadays, I most often hear kids say “Ga…”; sounding, but not actually saying, the Name. Talk to your kids about the example they need to set, at all times, even if they are the only ones. It’s hard, but it’s important.
I ran into an article from 1881, of course, talking about swearing. This comment really struck me. “Truth, uttered by the most ignorant, never requires any such prop. It is perfectly capable of standing alone, and the more simply it is expressed, the stronger it appears.” When kids get together, without parents around, the “coolness” takes over completely. Truth is not cool, but it is respected. The quote continues, “The habitual use of oaths, therefore, may be said to destroy the credibility of statements made by those addicted to the habit. Such are consequently no longer respected by others, and if they will reflect a little, we believe they will acknowledge their self respect is greatly lessened, as well.” Our kids are too close to the situation to see how true this statement is. We, as parents need to talk with our children, and instill in them the power to use their words wisely. They need to know that their classmates will not be impressed with them if they dress immodestly, show a lack of discipline, choose the wrong friends, adopt a sinking immoral culture, or swear. And their view of themselves will fall flat.
When you send your children off to school with a Father’s Blessing (given by a father, grandfather, home teacher, or Bishop), you give them power to succeed the Lord’s way. Every child needs confidence. A blessing will tell the child that the Spirit is willing to be with them, that their family loves them, that the gospel is true, and worth living at every age, and that God loves them and is watching over them. They are never alone in the daily battle they face.
If they hold to high standards they will have nothing to ever be ashamed of. It is better to glorify God in purity of speech, dress, and attitude. Their base classmates will eventually learn this lesson. Perhaps it will be your child who saves these classmates from a long, painful road back.