How To Plant a Sister in Our Hearts


We’ve spent the last four months talking about Ministering. How are you feeling about this topic and what is expected of you? Have your feelings changed from what you thought Visiting Teaching was about? And what happens now?

The Brethren clearly feel this change in attitude is urgent, seeing as the emphasis is strong and clear. Have we set our new personal ground rules? Are we taking this seriously and learning new things about the sisters we are ministering, so we can serve them better?

Your sister might have an obvious need. Serving her may be fairly easy for you. But what if your sister doesn’t appear to have any needs? Or, if asked, claims to have no needs? What do you do then?

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about this. If we have been tasked to minister, but there is no visible sign that ministering is needed or wanted, what we do must be discerned. The only way to accomplish this is through the Holy Ghost. Heavenly Father knows this sister intimately. If we are listening to the Spirit, we will get an impression of what to do. We must learn to call upon the Holy Ghost to serve others as well as fill our own lives with holiness.

The Brethren have commanded us clearly. It is for us to have “eyes to see and ears to hear” (Deut. 29:4), unlike the Israelites who stayed deaf and blind for 40 years as they wandered aimlessly in the wilderness.

If we are struggling with what to do and how to do it, the Book of Mormon gives us a guideline to follow. Alma 32 teaches us that we can plant a sister in our hearts. We’re told to nourish the sister. How do we do this? See verse 28 to track the following:

For my experiment to work,

  • I must assume she is a “good” sister, worthy of my friendship. (Likely, she is).
  • Does she “enlarge my soul”? Or in other words, do I know her well enough to enjoy her company? If not, I need to ask her questions about herself and get to know her, so I can connect with her.
  • Does she “enlighten my understanding”? Have we ever had a heart to heart conversation where we have been edified together? Have I asked for her advice on anything, or asked her to teach me something?
  • Is our relationship “delicious”? Do I love this sister?

We are given a warning that if this growth isn’t happening “your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree” (Alma 32:39).

We aren’t expected to make regular visits, according to our new ministering directive, but how else can we experiment and see if our “friendship trees” are growing? It will take “faith … great diligence, and … patience” (see verse 41) to see a relationship grow between us. Once we have grown our friendship tree, and it stands tall and sturdy, we can reap the fruit of our relationship, which will be “most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, … white above all that is white, … pure above all that is pure” (see verse 42), and we will both be filled.

This is quite a promise. Are we willing to take on this experiment? Those words—faith, diligence, and patience—will be tested. Our sister may not want to experiment along with us. Maybe our sister doesn’t want an open relationship, or perhaps she struggles with trust issues or simply doesn’t see us as a blessing at all. Then what?

No matter. This is an experiment worth testing faithfully, diligently, and patiently. This test works one-sided, as well as two-sided if we let it.

Here’s an interesting phenomenon: Most of us are not experiencing a catastrophic event in our lives that demands special care, yet, all of us are experiencing an imperfect, difficult life. This must be considered as we recognize our sisters as daughters of a God who loves them. We are meant to love them also.

For sisters who never really had a testimony of the importance of Visiting Teaching, may you gain a testimony of ministering that is “Christlike caring for others … helping meet their spiritual and temporal needs,” (quoted from First Presidency letter). Put into action the “one-by-one” principle, found in 3 Nephi 11, where everyone had the opportunity to love and be loved, by their Savior.

Adding a Footnote:

Ministering isn’t simply fulfilling an assignment anymore. Ministering must be offered to each person we encounter in whatever form the spirit whispers to us. May we seek to plant every sister in our hearts.