I was privileged to be invited to a Temple Shower years ago that literally changed my outlook on Temple Preparation. The woman giving the shower felt girls should be rewarded for their worthiness, and it was an expression of her personal love and support as each young girl entered the doors of the temple.
I asked permission if I could continue this sweet tradition and she was kind enough to give me all the necessary details. Each shower I have given has been a lovely, spiritual memory for the faithful young bride.
For those of you who may be interested, I urge you to take these ideas and bless the life of a virtuous young woman:
- The shower is a simple affair. Family, YW leaders, close friends who have been endowed, are invited. The shower is nothing like a regular shower may be. No random gifts, irreverent jokes, rude laughter, etc.
- Send an invitation to each attendee with instruction to contribute no more than $5 toward all temple clothing. (The money is to be gathered before the shower, so mother and daughter can buy the items together.)
- Someone is invited to share their thoughts about the temple. This short talk can include explanations, questions and answers, and especially testimony. Hopefully the bride has been well prepared, but this is an opportunity to rest any fears, congratulate righteous living, and share what blessings come. (Be cautious as to what is shared and allow the Spirit to be there.)
- Also included in the invitation is a card where each attendee can share their testimony, a favorite quote, or thoughtful experience all having to do with the temple. Each person will bring this card with them to read to the bride at the shower. This is the best part of the evening, where loved ones can share their feelings about the girl, the temple, and their testimony. (Cards can be gathered in a book and given to the bride.)
- The temple dress can be displayed, but everything else should be tucked away in her new temple bag.
- Refreshments served.
Why don’t we acknowledge, not lavishly, but meaningfully, young women who save themselves and honor temple covenants? Clearly, we don’t want a production, but in this world of low standards, high standards should be celebrated.
Instead of acting and being of the world up until the minute we go into the temple, we should really look at our attitude approach to the temple. Do we wear immodest clothing up until the deadline, or worse, alter clothing after? Do we encourage our girls to get their partying done first? Do we respect and honor the process involved as we take the necessary years to prepare? Do we teach it? Do we exemplify it?
I’ve heard of girls giving their friends a shower that is more of a “bachelorette party” where lingerie and giggles abound. This is not appropriate before entering the holy temple. Mormon weddings are different. The casualness of some temple announcements, and even some receptions, shows lack of understanding and respect. Being worthy to enter the temple is truly a privilege, because only the worthy can enter. Being deemed worthy is really a big deal. I’m not sure we recognize that as well as we should. Our dress and mannerisms should show our devotion, our humility, our honor and our love toward the Lord.
In fact, I have a little pet peeve. The word endowment means gift. We don’t go to the temple to get our gift or take our gift out, we go to the temple to receive our gift, receive our endowment from the Lord Himself. It’s just a little thing, but so is honoring the Lord’s standard of modesty and preparing well to enter His Holy House. This little thing lasts for all eternity.
My daughter recently received her endowment and the next day was married to her spouse.
In the days before the endowment and wedding, my mother (a temple worker) and I took my daughter to pick up her wedding dress (which she uses as a temple dress) and the other items she would need.
I forget why, but my daughter hadn’t taken the formal temple preparation lessons. She was worthy to go to the temple, of course, and my husband has taught the temple preparation class in our ward over the years. So a couple of days before she went to the temple the two of them talked until 2:30 am about the temple.
I understand the desire to establish a cultural custom to honor the achievement of going to the temple, but it is such a sacred event. I understand why some would feel a “temple shower” is inappropriate.
Besides, at a wedding shower you give a bride the items she will need for her new household. At a baby shower you give a mother clothes, toys, and accessories that she can use with her child.
What do you give at a temple shower? Not articles of clothing, surely. Copies of “The Miracle of Forgiveness?” I don’t thing so. I had a friend who presented me with an item of ceremonial clothing that she had personally embroidered. I’ve never seen another like it (it is exquisite). But I would have been uncomfortable if she had presented it to me in the context of a shower, with all the other ladies looking on.
So. Hear your cry that we honor our young people and other friends who make the step of accepting their endowment. But I also understand why there was discomfort with the idea of a temple shower.
Yes, I too can understand a hesitation from some people. At the Temple Shower,the mood is entirely different. Everyone comes dressed in Sunday clothes and you open with a word of prayer. Previously, people have contributed money to buy the temple clothing (which is given to the girl and her mother to shop for themselves), so their is a gift involved (it’s your choice whether to display the dress or not. Of course, everyone understands why other items are not displayed). But for me, which I try to explain as fast as I can, is that the Spirit is at this shower. The support and love she receives from her family and loved ones is strong and pronounced in their comments as each one takes their turn to share their thoughts and testimonies.
I asked for a temple shower when I went through the temple before leaving for a mission. And I loved it! I loved the spirit that was there. I loved the spirit of sisterhood that was there where women that I loved and respected gave me advice and expressed gratitude that I lived my life worthy to go to the temple. Each sister who was there wrote on a notecard for me and to this day (I had this shower 2 years ago) I cherish and read those notecards often.
The spirit is the key to eveything, I learned that on my mission, even with little things. Heavenly Father loves us and reminds us often that He loves us, and I was reminded that He loves me and was proud of me with the things I have accomplished in my life and the sisters at that temple shower were instruments for that reminder.
I too had a temple shower. My mother-in-law offered to host one for me and although I had no idea what a Temple shower was I happily accepted. Growing up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint I had always been taught (and rightly so) that our Temples are so sacred that we don’t discuss them outside of it, so I was a little anxious as the day arrived for my shower, not know what to expect…but I have to say that my Temple Shower was one of the highlights of my wedding! It gave me the chance to take my mind off flowers, photographers, showers, wedding dress alterations, honeymoon plans, luncheon, and the million other wedding preparations on my mind and focus on the most important part of it all, the Temple. It also gave me the opportunity to focus on my personal achievement of receiving my endowment – not only being sealing to my darling husband (which at that stage it was hard to keep my thoughts off of him). I invited women who had played a significant role in my life, who had helped me grow and develop my own testimony. What a beautiful thing it was to share a small amount of time with women who had helped me reach my goal of going to the Temple. Each guest offered beautiful simple testimonies of the temple, and expressed how proud of me they were. It was such a wonderful, uplifting experience. I remember being so impressed with the feelings of love and peace that abounded, the Spirit was almost tangible. I felt the same comforting Spirit when I entered the temple – which confirmed to me that the Temple is the House of the Lord, it is the only place that I can receive the gifts I need to be with my family forever, and the only way that I can return home to a loving Heavenly Father. A Temple shower when done correctly can be an incredible experience, I know it was for me. It can remind us of who we are and bring us back to the important things in life.
A temple shower for me would be great if it were a one-on-one simple discussion of the 5 promises I was about to make with God in the temple, assurances that my mother (who went through with me) would help every step of the way, and that anyone in white was there to help me, not to judge how quickly I “got” it…and that there were no “tests” after everything was presented (serious case of anxiety because I didn’t know what I needed to know, do or to say! Despite all my temple prep classes, BYU classes/wards, and lifelong membership).
If your son/daughter wants a shower of this kind, please do not do it in lieu of a regular bridal shower (they need household items, lingerie and advice about married life) and please be very mindful of their personality. Introverts like me may be more comfortable with a “temple question lunch” date with a few ladies, or just their mom, than a room full of people who can’t even openly talk about the subject because of its sacred nature and fear of saying the wrong thing. But I feel too much information is better than too little! Share away, ladies!
And if there is not a temple shower in your future, having a temple outing with close female friends/teachers/mothers who will then sit with you in the celestial room and discuss everything that you saw, the symbolism, questions, even a “what in the world?” without fear of saying the wrong thing, because you can talk as much as you want about what is in the temple there. Offer that to a sister about to be endowed to really be helpful to her.
You are making some good points. A temple shower is not a place to “learn” about the temple, it is an opportunity to celebrate a young woman’s accomplishment of living that virtuous life she has been taught all her life. Sadly, some girls aren’t prepared well enough for the temple and should be given an opportunity to ask those questions, in a safe place, to a bishop, or recommend-holding parent or friend.