Susa Young Gates

One of the more well known children of Brigham Young was Susa Young Gates.  She was a mover and a shaker in the Kingdom of God, and heaven help us if we forget all the good that she did during her time on the earth.

Susa Amelia Young was born on 18 March 1856 in Salt Lake City, Utah, to Brigham and Lucy Bigelow Young; the forty-first child of her father.  When Zina D. H. Young, the midwife, announced a female child was born, Lucy exclaimed, “Shucks! No!”  But Zina insisted, “It isn’t all shucks, it’s wheat, and full weight too!”  This story is such a great example of close relationship, humor, and love between the wives of Brigham Young.

Education was important in this household and Susa pursued hers all her life, breaking ground all along the way.  At age thirteen, she entered the University of Deseret (University of Utah).  At fourteen, she was editor of the school’s literary magazine.  Later, she would establish the music department at the  newly formed Brigham Young Academy.  She became proficient at telegraphy and shorthand, acting as recorder at conferences.

Clearly bright for her age, it is interesting to note that she was quite willful and determined to show her independence toward her father.  She helped her older sister elope, and later married against her father’s wishes, as well. 

Sent to St. George as punishment for helping her sister, Susa met and married Alma Dunford there.  She was only sixteen years old at the time; very willful, but very unprepared for marriage.  In spite of having a drinking problem, Alma was sent on a mission.  While he was gone, Susa decided to divorce him.  Sadly, when he returned, he took their two children away from her.  This was a horrible regret she endured the rest of her life.  She assumed she would be a spinster for the rest of her life.

She moved north to Provo, and lived under the watchful eye of Karl Maeser, to attend Brigham Young Academy.  While there, she organized a choir, bought a piano for the school, taught music lessons, (founding the music department in the school), all while attending classes herself.  Pres. Maeser counseled her to pursue a literary career.   

The next year she sailed to Hawaii, accompanying Zina, who went for her health.  Susa met and married Jacob Gates with whom she had eleven more children.  Of the thirteen, only five grew to maturity.  She must have suffered so much at the deaths of her children.  Two died shortly after birth, one at age five, two died of the croup, one was shot to death while playing with a friend.  Another died of dye poisoning from a candy wrapper.  Her eldest son was blown up in a powder factory explosion.  Jacob was a wonderful support to her, and she likewise honored his authority.  Her grandchildren would later say, “Her husband held the priesthood; he was her lord and master.  His word was law.  She always asked him before she did anything, and he always approved.”

In spite of all of her heartbreaks, Susa’s effervescent character could not be diminished.  She was usually in the middle of many major happenings at the headquarters of the Church.  She, at one time, had a (very small) office in the Church offices where the Brethren referred to her as “The Thirteenth Apostle”.

Susa was hard to resist.  She described herself as “5’ 3”, 115 pounds, with dark blue or grey eyes and light, ‘rather curly’ brown hair.  I must confess my teeth are the only redeeming feature of my face.” 

It was Susa’s idea to start the Young Woman’s Journal, a magazine that focused on the young girls.  She edited it for eleven years.  During this time she was a trustee for both Brigham Young Academy and the state college in Logan.  She also became known as “the mother of physical education in Utah”, she helped establish the domestic science department at Brigham Young Academy, she attended summer school at Harvard University, she wrote two novels, many articles and short stories and represented the YLMIA seven times at the National Council of Women, speaking for Women’s Suffrage, and serving as chairman of its Press Committee for three years.  She was asked to be the Secretary of the Council if she was willing to not mention the Church during her appointment.  She refused.  And she was Young Women’s President in her ward during much of this time.

This is the Susa we need to remember.  If you passed her on the street she might stop to say hi, but hurry off saying she was terribly busy.  As an expert in domestic science, she created a system for everything.  She was an incredible cook, and her home was void of fancy frills. 

Susa had an abiding love for genealogy work.  She was the first president of the DUP and gathered many records of her father’s family.  As well, she wrote what was viewed the best biography on her father for many years.  This love for the work was amplified with an amazing experience.  While traveling, Susa became very ill.  Francis M. Lyman, then president of the European Mission, gave her a blessing with the expectation of “dedicating her to the Lord”.  That means he thought she was going to die.   “Suddenly, he stopped, and after pausing for about two minutes continued with these words, ‘There has been a council held in heaven, and it has been decided you shall live to perform temple work, and you shall do a greater work than you have ever done before.’”

She got well and created and taught genealogy lessons, setting the standard for genealogy work throughout the Church.  At this same time, she was asked to be the editor of the new Relief Society Magazine, and called as the correspondence secretary of the Relief Society.

There is more I could write about this amazing woman, but suffice it to say she finally gave up the ghost after living a very full life.

Information taken from:  Sister Saints by Vicky Burgess-Olson

I am talking about the use of committees within the ward.  We joke about Mormon Committees, but there is a lot of good they can accomplish. I’m hoping you’ll find groups that like coming together.  Groups can make people feel like they belong.   

Face it, the only reason some sisters come to Relief Society is because it is part of the Church schedule, not because there is a feeling of “I am needed, or I need, Relief Society”.  If the presidency doesn’t act like a functioning “committee”, the sisters in the ward will feel completely lost, devalued, and ultimately find other places to belong, and find fulfillment.  It is so helpful (and less stressful) to have goals, objectives, purpose, an assignment; some kind of direction.  Presidencies should have them and offer them to all ward sisters.

I have mentioned before that each presidency needs to sit down with the Bishop to find out what the needs are.  Then, together, as a presidency, you can set reachable goals that can help ward families do what they need to be doing.  To be really effective, this action could involve all of the sisters in the ward as you plan together, brainstorm ideas together, and get excited together.

Then comes the fun part:  Form committees.  Put sisters together and give them the responsibility to carry out their part of the ultimate goal.  They can be as creative as they want.  They can plan their get togethers as often as they want (avoiding conflict with other committee plans of course), they can set up their own challenges, activities, and even decide when the goal has been reached.  Then let them invite the ward to follow their course of suggested action.

Here are some examples:

1)   Let’s say one of the Bishop’s goals is an emphasis on Service.  (Be sure to look at the post from RS-Community, Kaysville).  The President can introduce the idea in Sunday Relief Society and see who is interested in heading this up, by show of hands.  Write the sisters’ names down and contact them (as a President, assigned Counselor, or a Presidency) during the week.  (This gives a sense of importance to what they are about to undertake.)  Let them organize themselves, form a plan of action, present it to the Presidency, then go for it.  Communicate so everyone can be supportive.

This committee could supply service projects throughout the year, or to be completed at home.  They could find a nearby Care Center, Halfway House, Hospital, etc. to provide on-going service.  They can create a list (with the help of the Priesthood) of ward members who need help, and match adults and youth to fulfill those needs.  Whatever ideas they come up with, that committee is in charge of involving the ward in service.  This is a goal that never ends, but should be regularly evaluated and monitored for optimum performance.

2)   Maybe the Bishop would like to emphasize preparedness for all ward members.  Again, the idea can be presented at a Sunday meeting.  Maybe you won’t get as many hands raised, and maybe the enthusiasm level is a little low for this one. The committee’s main job would be to build consistent enthusiasm and motivation that might otherwise be forgotten during the year.  A committee might want to assess the skills and equipment of the ward members.  They can gather information, and coordinate training that cities and counties provide.  This committee could offer a schedule of challenges, and personal evaluations, keeping families motivated to complete their own responsibility.   

3)   Bishops are usually worried about the activity level of the ward.  Missionary work is ongoing and never ending.  A Welcome Committee could be formed to visit new families—in the name of the Bishopric and RS Presidency—offering goodies, ward list, and friendship.  A Visiting Teaching Committee could help track down all those people who are lost, or tend to get forgotten (every ward has some).  A committee could be formed that visits people who are in the hospital, or who just had a baby, or those who can’t come out to Relief Society meetings. 

A committee can help take the load off of presidents and Bishops, love and befriend people, help the ward be consistent in their progress, and involve so many more people in the ward.  A group of people can cover much more ground than a single person.  It’s so much more fun to work together, than separately.  A sister can be involved in any number of these committees, whether she has another calling, or not. Consistency, companionship, and collective involvement will make your ward family glow in the Spirit of the Lord.

Way back in the 18^th and 19^th Century, it was fairly common to have from eight to eleven children.  Back then, the mortality rate was high, so several children in a family would die while still young.  Now let’s think about this.

The typical 24-hour day would find a woman cooking over a fireplace, or coal stove.  Bread was made every day, and meals took hours to cook.  When not cooking, or stoking the fire, there was washing to be done.  You’ve heard the joke, ”What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?  Kick her!” 

Two days a week was spent washing and drying clothing.  Granted, they had less clothing, and washed those items only when absolutely necessary, but there was much more fabric to deal with, no automatic machine to do it for you, and drying it must have taken forever, especially in the winter months.  Then, of course, came the darning.  When was the last time you darned a sock?

Shopping was an ordeal.  It was a day’s journey just to get to town.  The whole family would come along, because it was such a rare adventure.  Everyone would be able to pick a treat and dad would fork over the $2.25 for groceries that would last for the next four months.

Now, where did these super-duper large families live?  In a one, maybe two, room house; lean-to in the back, if they were lucky.  No heat, no running water, no bathroom, no privacy.  These women were heroic!!   

In this particular article, each mother is spotlighted with some of their life experiences.  Not one of them had an easy life.

From the April 1918 Relief Society Magazine:

Nellie Kenner Snow, mother of eighteen children, thirteen living.  Married at age sixteen in Sanpete County, sealed two days later in St. George.  With husband and seven children, moved to Piute County, with the idea to improve living conditions.   After struggling for two years, with one difficulty after another, they returned to Sanpete where they were finally able to buy and settle into their first home.  They maintained an honest living while enduring much sickness and ill-health.  Sis. Snow almost died after delivering her twins, but recovered in time for her husband to get sick and die, leaving her and her oldest son to support the family.  During her difficult life, she remained a faithful, active member of the Church, and Relief Society.

 Emma Adella Wood Tolman, mother of seventeen children, 59 grandchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren.  She has always been a “faithful wife and mother, and an energetic worker in the Relief Society”. 

Fannie Johnson Caldwell married at age fifteen.  She is the mother of sixteen children—nine girls and seven boys.  At age seventy-seven, she was still in perfect health.

Annie B. Hansen married in 1893, was baptized into the Church in 1895 and is the mother of eighteen children, fourteen still living.  She is a teacher in the Relief Society and travels a distance of twenty miles each month to do her visiting teaching.  She keeps up with her Relief Society work, besides taking care of her family and doing farm work.

The article concludes with this:  “What a glorious career is this for any woman!  Honors are hers here and here after.”

Life for us, in America, may have changed drastically (perhaps not so much in other nations of the world), but the commandment still applies, “Be fruitful and multiply.”  There are still many of Heavenly Father’s children yet to be born.  Better to be born in a strong, righteous family, than to be lost and abused in lost and abused families.

This article gives several ideas for planning your Relief Society meetings.   Realize that the General Board has made significant changes and that it is not the same program that it was a year or so ago. 

The article shows the value of talking things over with your Bishop.  Planning under his arm and authority.  Focusing on the three purposes Sis. Beck is emphasizing: Faith, Family, Service. 

I’ve heard this laughed off before, but I think it’s significant that the Board takes the time to spell out how to announce additional meetings “called whatever they are”.  I think they are trying to tell us to stop coming up with catchy, cutsie names.  Just keep things simple and meaningful.  The effort shouldn’t be in the title, the invitation, or the advertising.  The effort should be in the substance of the meeting itself.

May I just add my two cents?  The sooner we realize, accept, and incorporate the changes, the sooner we will see much needed ,increased spirituality, unity, and organization in our wards. 

I had another thought while I was brushing my teeth this morning.  What ever happened to the Good News Minute?  Some of you may still be having it, even though it was suggested we stop when it became more of a brag-fest, and took too much time during opening exercises.

Taking too much time is certainly a real concern, and should be guarded, however, this thought occurred to me.  It could be fun to use that time to share Visiting Teaching moments, or successful Family Home Evenings, or experiences that will build motivation, and unity, through shared successes.  Well, then, I personally think music time should be more than just singing the hymn (I love hearing about the history of the hymn, or musical numbers, etc.), but then time would really go overboard.

Doggone it!  There just isn’t enough time to waste time anymore!  Well maybe that’s where additional Relief Society meetings can come in. 

Give the welcome, opening hymn, and prayer 10 minutes;  music 10 minutes;  the Good News Minute 10 minutes.   (Your announcements would absolutely have to be in a notebook passed around the room, because there just isn’t enough time to get to them.)  Wow, then you only have 20 minutes left for the lesson.  But if your teacher just makes 1-2 significant points from the lesson, you can have a meeting during the week to continue the discussion.  Or maybe you want to go on line and discuss things back and forth there.   Or you could encourage Visiting teachers to continue the discussion in their teaching.

Or, you could save your Good News Minute and announcements for the first Sunday of the month, when the Presidency teaches.  (Take a look at my other posts that suggest Presidencies don’t actually teach a lesson, they use the time for planning, sharing, and maybe taking care of these other things we seem to not have time for.)

Yes, it really looks like we need to throw out tradition and try something new that will fulfill our needs better, and allow the time we share to be significant and meaningful.  The times, they are a changin’, and Sisters…we need to allow the Lord to move us forward.

Along with school come issues to “re-deal” with:  Modesty in attire.  Discipline.  Friends and culture.

Modesty:   We will have this problem forever, I’m afraid.  But when you buy your children’s clothes, or when they begin buying their own clothes, you have got to go by the rules.  The school has its standards, but each home should have their own (which I hope are a little tighter, and definitely enforced).  When it comes to school dances—please talk to your girls and make sure you are on the same page.  Don’t wait until weeks before the dance to start demanding something modest, or worst yet, let your daughter go off with her friends to buy the dress.  This is a mother-daughter opportunity.  Take it.  Help your daughter be fearless in her high, moral standards.

Discipline:  Higher education gets more and more competitive every year.  Distractions get more and more attractive and pervasive every year.  More and more mothers are going to work and not being there when the children return home.  ‘Nuf said.

Friends and culture:  When young groups get together, without adult supervision, you can pretty much expect the kids to act out.  There is too much of the show-off, one-upmanship, and pressure that builds, and it will affect your child.  Just pay attention.  Don’t worry about being the “un-cool” parent.  Parents are supposed to be un-cool, at least sometimes.  Be proud of it and stand your ground.  Your children will thank you some day.

Continuing along these lines, I would like to mention swearing.  This is one of those areas that are really insidious.  Are we, as parents, aware of how much swearing confronts our children at school (Elementary, and on up)?  The halls are rife with profane yelling; sometimes said in anger, but mostly stated casually, but loudly, in conversation.  And the teachers.  I will never appreciate, or respect, a teacher who can’t control their tongue in a classroom setting.  I don’t care how bad the kids are.

In Utah, swearing is very, very prevalent amongst LDS kids.  In other parts of the world, I’m sure the kids realize their position and are a little more watchful.  Being LDS, all of us know better.  Mormons try to skirt around by making up “non-swear” words.  That’s were “flip”, “gosh darn”, and the like come from.  Nowadays, I most often hear kids say “Ga…”; sounding, but not actually saying, the Name.  Talk to your kids about the example they need to set, at all times, even if they are the only ones.  It’s hard, but it’s important.

I ran into an article from 1881, of course, talking about swearing.  This comment really struck me.  “Truth, uttered by the most ignorant, never requires any such prop.  It is perfectly capable of standing alone, and the more simply it is expressed, the stronger it appears.”  When kids get together, without parents around, the “coolness” takes over completely.  Truth is not cool, but it is respected.  The quote continues, “The habitual use of oaths, therefore, may be said to destroy the credibility of statements made by those addicted to the habit.  Such are consequently no longer respected by others, and if they will reflect a little, we believe they will acknowledge their self respect is greatly lessened, as well.”  Our kids are too close to the situation to see how true this statement is.  We, as parents need to talk with our children, and instill in them the power to use their words wisely.  They need to know that their classmates will not be impressed with them if they dress immodestly, show a lack of discipline, choose the wrong friends, adopt a sinking immoral culture, or swear.  And their view of themselves will fall flat.

When you send your children off to school with a Father’s Blessing (given by a father, grandfather, home teacher, or Bishop), you give them power to succeed the Lord’s way.  Every child needs confidence.  A blessing will tell the child that the Spirit is willing to be with them, that their family loves them, that the gospel is true, and worth living at every age, and that God loves them and is watching over them.  They are never alone in the daily battle they face.

If they hold to high standards they will have nothing to ever be ashamed of.  It is better to glorify God in purity of speech, dress, and attitude.  Their base classmates will eventually learn this lesson.  Perhaps it will be your child who saves these classmates from a long, painful road back.

Susa Young Gates offers some advice for complainers.

“How well I remember Aunt Eliza Snow’s admirable advice, ‘Never tell anybody if you are sick or sorry.  Don’t make others weary with your complaining.’  President Young said once in a sermon that he kept his troubles to himself, and bothered no man with any recital of his difficulties.  This was so true of him that if a member of his family ever asked how he was if he happened to be sick, they were sure to be answered with some witty jest which made them almost ashamed of having enquired.  No one ever heard that remarkable man tell his daily and hourly trials as no one that I ever knew of ever heard Aunt Eliza Snow say she was sick or felt ill.”

I remember years ago talking with a young mother, who had recently lost her little boy to cancer.  She hated people asking her how she was, because she was afraid of telling them.  Most people, when they throw out the common “How are you”, don’t really expect a long answer, isn’t that true?  It’s just a polite way of saying Hello.  The woman made a decision never to ask others how they were (unless she wanted to know, then she waited for an honest answer), and she herself never answered, only smiled, when people casually asked her. 

Some people just like to complain.  Susa warns that if you complain too much, you’ll likely make yourself sicker.  I think that’s probably what people want, deep down.  Isn’t it sad to think of miserable people when the gospel is on the earth and brings such happiness to so many who abide the precepts and live in anticipation of the fullness of the glories promised?  Often, those who complain are trapped in their own insecurities.  All those bad things that are happening to them prevent them from doing something more productive.

Susa continues, “Another part of this is, that the influence of mind over matter is so great that if we can once learn to hold our tongues about what we are going through, whether it be in sickness or in other trials, we shall have a vastly increased amount of power to overcome and gain the victory.  A strong mind rarely if ever talks of what is to be done, but may speak of what has been done.  If I hear anyone say they are going to do such and such a thing, I am about sure they will do nothing of the sort.  Words are the weakest as well as the strongest things on earth.  They are weak when they betray our spirits, and they are strong when they obey an intelligent will.  Are you the slave of your tongue?  Then from this very moment try, don’t say what you are going to do, but quietly and prayerfully set to work to overcome your master weakness.   Let me warn my dear girl readers.  Seek to control that tongue.”

She encourages all women, both young and old, to watch what you say.  If you are beaten down with your own words and attitudes, think what you are doing to those who hear you.  If you were to act against any one of your complaints and had an attitude of overcoming the difficulty in some way, think how you would feel about yourself, and how others may look upon your success.  We have nothing to lose!  Susa’s final words are full of light, hope, and power.  “Never give up, and don’t say to anyone what you mean to do, but just do it.”

Young Woman’s Journal 4(1893): 426-7

Maude Adams as Peter Pan

Did you know that Salt Lake City was the birthplace of one of America’s first leading actresses?  Occasionally, while traipsing through old western towns, I’ve run across pictures, news articles, and even tour guides, proclaiming the glories of the great Maude Adams.  Let me tell you a little about her.

Maude Kiskadden was born in Salt Lake City (7^th East and 8^th South, to be exact), on November 11^th, 1872.  Her grandfather, Barnabas L. Adams, was part of the exodus from Nauvoo, having met LDS missionaries in Canada, arriving in the Salt Lake Valley in 1848.  Her mother, Asenath Ann (Annie) Adams, was born near Little Cottonwood canyon.  Annie was also an actress.

Annie Adams was known as one of the best actresses in Salt Lake City.  But it would be Maude Adams who would achieve greatness among all the American actresses of her day.  Annie, and a generation later, Maude, would act in the Salt Lake Theater.  Timber, from Barnabas’ saw mill, was used to build many well-known structures in the city, including this building, interestingly enough.

Annie traveled with a company of actors, eventually settling in California.  Maude, as a little girl, would sometimes appear on stage, if an infant was needed to fill a role.

In fact, her very first role was her playing the part of roast beef on a platter.  As she waited back stage in a cradle, her mother was performing in a play called The Lost Child.  “One scene called for a platter to be carried on-stage with a sleeping child in place of a roast, but, at the time of the cue, the regular baby was having a noisy tantrum.  Annie, waiting in the wings, offered her nine-month old offspring as a stand-in.  Maude was placed on the platter and carried in, but, rather than stay asleep, she sat up and looked around in fascination and her first triumph in front of the footlights was accomplished.”

Maude’s father, James Kiskadden,  passed away when she was still quite young, so she would divide her time between her traveling mother, and her grandmother, who still resided in Salt Lake City.  At age sixteen, Maude left Salt Lake for the lights of New York, where she was cast into more and more prominent roles.  By the late 1890’s she was a star.  As Maude set out to make a name for herself, she chose her mother’s maiden name as a more fitting name to be known by.

Never forgetting her roots, Maude arranged for the complimentary seating of the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir, while they were touring in New York, for her performance of Peter Pan.  This was in the year 1909.  At the end of the performance, the Choir stood and sang “Auld Lang Syne”, in her honor, and the whole audience joined in.

Maude Adams never married.  Rather, she was married to the stage.  After an amazing career, she retired from acting in 1918.  She began staging and directing, which became her true passion.  Finally, in 1931, she staged and acted in her final performance in The Merchant of Venice at Kingsbury Hall on the University of Utah campus.  She died at her home in the Catskill Mountains of New York on July 16, 1953.

Information taken from:

Relief Society Magazine, 1890, p. 244

Utah Historical Quarterly, Winter 1970, p. 65

Susa Young Gates, one of the most beloved women of her day, a daughter of Brigham Young, and just as outspoken, but loving, as he was, wrote to the young women about their mission on the earth.

“What is a mission? Is it not the fulfilling of some pre-ordained plan? Then we knew we should have work to do upon earth. And what was your great charge, your great work on earth? The first duty of a woman upon this earth, the work required at her hands, is that of wife and mother.”

She quotes her father, the prophet, as saying, “You may become the finest writer in the whole world; you might be the most famous and gifted woman of your day, and you might be of great use to thousands of your fellow beings, but if you should fail in your duty as wife and mother, you would find in the morning of the first resurrection that your whole life upon earth had been a failure.”

Women of our day are becoming more and more self-absorbed. One of the most popular movies coming out is Eat, Pray, and Love. Can you see the incredible selfishness in which she lived her year?

Susa continues, “Do you think that President Young would approve of throwing aside the duties of wife and mother for selfish comfort if he disapproved of doing so for a great public good? To be sure he would not. And yet is there not a notion growing among our girls that it is not wise to marry early, and perhaps not at all?” Too many young women are choosing career over families, when it should be the opposite: Family first, but if that doesn’t happen, career. There are also too many women waiting to start a family until they have a home, nice furniture, and all the ease of life. Again, we have been told that family should come first. Nice things can always come later.

 And there are too many of our young girls “settling” for a man, because he is a man, not because he is a responsible priesthood holder. Susa states the following from experience.

“If girls ought to marry, what are they to do now when there is such a surplus of marriageable girls to the comparatively small number of marriageable young men? The question is becoming too frequent, “Is it not better for our girls to marry those outside our faith than to remain single?” Let me shout the answer in your ears again and again. No! No! No! Better live the whole life out singly and in old maidenhood than to sell your birthright for a miserable mess of pottage.”

When she was eighteen years of age, Susa married a young man who was not strong in the Church and ended up leaving it completely. She divorced him, but not before having two children. She cursed her own impulsiveness the rest of her days, because the consequences stayed with her.

There are of course situations where a good woman can’t seem to find the right man to marry, at no fault of her own. Susa advises to not sell yourself short. There is always hope and happiness in the Lord. “If you cannot fulfill your mission here, He will not withhold that happiness and privilege from you in eternity. Think of it well! The gospel is yours, and by its light is revealed the beautiful hereafter, in which you know you will have the God-given companion designed for you from before the beginning of this world. Is not this glorious, perfect companion worth waiting for?  What work in the meantime is there for these lovely, loving girls? Oh so much. All sorts and kinds of occupation and avocations.”

Isn’t that interesting? It is the single women who are urged to not while away their solitary years, but to make the most of themselves in an occupation or avocation. I have also seen many situations that warrant a married woman to educate herself in a particular skill as needed, and we have all been urged in that regard. But Susa’s message should become the attitude in which we live.

“If you by faith and prayer have succeeded in finding the good and honorable man God meant you to find, then remember those solemn words of warning given by Brigham Young, ‘Wife, mother, and then woman.’ This is your watchword. And if, dearest and best of Mormon girls, your life is to be lived out alone while on this sphere, choose some good, some worthy object of spiritual and physical activity. If you cannot fulfill that mission with your own body while on earth, yet labor with your whole might to help those who are doing this work. Help all good women who know you, and to every child who crosses your path, be thou to it a second mother. No matter what you choose, see to it that you never lose sight of your eternal watchword.

Young Woman’s Journal  5 (Nov 1893): 91

Well, I’m beginning to understand what is going on here.   It’s all about Choice.  Our world will not help us make time for the Lord, we have to help each other make that choice, and make that choice for ourselves.

Our leaders have opened the door for our individual Relief Societies to use agency.  Do we rely on tradition, and continue having our monthly meetings?  Do we get frustrated at the little help we receive, and therefore, choose to have no activities?  Do we try to have a variety of safe, likeable activities?  Or are we taking this challenge to the Lord, and guiding our ward sisters to a more spiritual choice of activities; activities that the world cannot fulfill, activities that help us choose the Lord?

There are sisters who say they don’t “need” Relief Society.  Sadly, these sisters are missing the whole point.  We are here on earth to help one another.  I don’t “need” Relief Society, but I understand that Relief Society needs me to help fulfill the covenants I’ve made to bring Heavenly Father’s children back to Him.

If we truly understand that we are here “as a Relief Society” to fulfill our covenants, then we begin to think differently.  One of my most favorite sayings is: “This isn’t a game we’re playing, it is the gospel of Jesus Christ.”  Relief Society isn’t a game, it is a means to do the work of the Lord.  We can’t get sidetracked anymore.

Sis. Beck wants us to get inspired.  There are no easy answers, nor should we be seeking them.  All RS Presidents, Counselors, and “Helpers” should be praying, discussing with the Bishop, and talking to their sisters to discover what ward members need, to make a proper choice.   By spiritually strengthening our sisters, we give sisters a better choice of choosing the Lord, as opposed to just following Satan.  Right now, Satan appears to be winning.  We live in his world, we play with his toys, our time is his time.  There must be opposition in order to make a choice.  Relief Society can offer that spirituality, so a proper choice can be made.

 When you are spiritually fed, somehow you feel like turning over a new leaf, start reading your scriptures again, research family history, or plan a great FHE.  What presidencies want to do is inspire their sisters to carry on the work that must be done.   

Presidencies should take the initiative and provide for their sisters.  But if that is not happening, an individual sister might want to suggest a spiritually strengthening idea to her president.  Or volunteer to put together a group of sisters and meet regularly.  An individual sister can set her own goals and gain spiritual strength directly from the Lord. 

Whatever your circumstance, decide today to Choose the Lord. 

Don’t let Satan steal away your time, your energy, your attitude, or your progress.  And don’t expect the world to fulfill you in a deep, eternal way.  Go to the source of our happiness.  The Lord has a specific work for you to do on this earth.  It will take your specific talents and your best self to team up with the Holy Ghost to accomplish the covenants that have been made.  Relief Society needs you and you really do need Relief Society.  And most certainly, the Lord needs you.  You are his choice daughter.  Choose Him.

 It takes work and devotion to keep feeling those arms around us, and to extend that embrace amongst all those we see.  We need to always be on the lookout, teaching and training those who will listen and learn, reaching out to those who are lost.  Ours is to not judge unrighteously, but to gather in.

This short list sits heavily on me.  If we could master these basic points we would be able to fulfill all of the commandments required of us.  We get stumped, time and time again, by the world, Satan ,and life in general, and we must always be humble enough to accept the reminder when it comes.

1. Consistency—It is very hard to be consistent, but only when goals are set, and ultimately reached, change, for good, happens.   Ward Council is the perfect place to set these goals.  As Satan keeps trying to separate us, let us use our councils to unite us, fight back, and take back those lost souls who fall through the cracks, or help the ward to move forward along the path we are all walking.  As a unit, we can become strong, and stay strong, through consistent effort.
2. Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching—The MAGIC of HT/VT is the feeling of love that will come and encompass the entire ward.  If leaders only care about numbers, the ward will never think of visiting as anything other than a chore.  Leaders need to first teach by example, and second, teach/remind with love.  This program of HT/VT is the most important program in all of the Church.  This is how we become the instruments in our Father’s hands, and fulfill the mourning and the comforting that we covenanted at the beginning.  Numbers play a role as we challenge ourselves to greater heights, but 100% is only a part of it.  Consistent performance will hopefully bring love, fellowship, companionship, and unity to the entire ward.
3. Meaning—The world, Satan, and life destroy all things that are meaningful.  They are all about fun and self-gratification.  In contrast, all of our meetings should have meaning.  We attend Sunday meetings to receive the Sacrament and feel the Spirit.  We hold additional meetings to feel the Spirit, unite, be strengthened, and gain knowledge.  Everyone who comes to any of these meetings should feel accepted, valued, appreciated, and loved.  A simple smile and “thank you” go a long way in conveying the Spirit we all share; the Spirit is what adds meaning to our lives. 
4. Service—We all need to have a ward service project in which every ward member can participate.  It might be consistent projects for the Humanitarian Center, a nearby Care Facility, or hospital, maybe regular aid given to the Homeless Shelter.  Whatever it is, adopt it as a ward and offer consistent service.  Involve the Youth, Children, Neighbors, members of the ward who don’t have a calling; this is something where everyone can help in some way. 

Everyone should be given the opportunity to serve meaningfully and teach with consistency.  The world would fill our minds with false images of importance.  Gain a testimony of what the Lord finds as truly meaningful.  Let yourself love people, and as often as possible, provide opportunity for all to serve.  Do for people out of love.  The world is full of hate and violence.  The only antidote is to preach genuine love, acceptance, and unity.  You will discover the secret to a happy ward (a happy life, a happy marriage, and a happy family) is to love.